Tuesday, January 1, 2013

What did I return home too?

What did i find when I returned home from out of town? I walked into my apartment. Only after getting off a plane and two busses New Years eve. I turned the hallway light on. To my disgust the cat had vomit on the hallway and kitchen floor! Nasty as hell! My room mate was in his room with his girlfriend. I knock on the the door and they acted like they couldn't hear me! I was NOT Cleaning that crap up! It's not my cat! Then this morning I go into the kitchen. I'm like why do it smell like all types of shit¿ I'll tell you why! My room mate only cleaned part of the mess up. Some how he over looked the mess in the hallway. I go to empty the trash, and it weighed a ton! Someone please tell me why was it filled with soiled cat litter over a week old?!? Nasty ass room mate. I need my own place. The horror stories I need to tell you guys. This has been my 5th move in less than a year! Hence why you haven't heard from me in a quite a while. I'm back! Happy New Year!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Never Should Have Sold My Car!

Tell me why I almost got In a fist fight with this lunatic man on the train. Police were called and everything. Hot mother f*^%#*! mess!
I'm going to get right to the point. The train was overly crowded as it usually is during rush hour. I was standing beside a black man who was sitting down in a seat closest to the exit/entrance of the train. He look to be in his late 40's early 50's and was sitting all spread out like a gorilla. He reminded me of a played out motor cycle punk. He set there playing a video car game on his phone, with his elbows stretched so far apart as if he was trying to take up three seats. There was a shorter Spanish women standing in between his legs, just because there was no where left to go.

After two stops the Spanish lady gets off the train and of course more people get on. I move further in the train and away from the exit to let the people on. Now I'm standing in front of motor cycle guy. The next stop comes and a crowd of people pushed by me to get off the train which is normal. The crowd is now pushing me toward the motor cycle man as they exit. He then pushed me back towards the people. I told him "Don't worry I'm not trying to stand no where near or between your legs". Then I said "If you would close your legs you wouldn't have the problem of people pushing me into them". I'm sure that pissed him off even more but it was the truth. The seat next to him open up and I sat down in it. He then began to elbow me and put his elbows on top of my arms. Something a child would do for sure except now he was elbowing me hard. I said "Excuse me , is there a problem"? He became loud and crazy....I guess he just caught me on the wrong day because I got loud and crazy back.

He threaten to whoop my ass, and I threaten to mace him like the dog he is! Everybody around us some how cleared out. There was all
kind of space. More so people got out of the way because they thought a fight was going down. Before I knew it my boyfriend appeared out of no where and yells at the man saying "your gonna beat who? Cause it ain't about to go down!!!" People were shocked because he appeared out of no where! He completely stole "the show". The man tried to go off at the mouth yelling "f^*# you" and of course I couldn't keep my mouth shut. I told Him "he wish I would f*%# him but it won't ever happen!" Then he told me "f#%^ you " again, and I replied loudly "that''s your problem, you need to get f%#^ed!" Everybody was on the train rolling. This must of embarrassed the guy because he quiet down for a second and then yelled that I was ugly. Funny thing was I looked really cute so for him to tell me otherwise pissed me all the way off. I yelled at him that "I look better than him on my worse day!" My boy friend was trying to calm me down. The lady next to me told me the man wasn't worth it. That's when I realize she was right. I finally sat down & stayed that way till the next stop where the police took us off the train. Of course there is more to this story do you want to hear it?

Friday, September 9, 2011

Damn People on the MTA

I know I owe you guys a entry on Hedo, but something just happen to me and I have to put that up here first. I just got off the bus about 20 minutes ago. Would have wrote this 20 minutes ago, but I had to call my mother and tell her about theseCRAZY ASS PEOPLE OF NYC!

Let me begin by telling you all that I am utterly stressed out. I'm in the process of looking for a new apt as well as a new job for the next year. I found out this morning my weekend trip was canceled and my boss messed up on my check. I guess that must of been the icing on my stress cake to make my candles blow out.

After leaving my job. I was supposed to run some errands, but found myself walking in the opposite direction of where I was supposed to be going. I continued on that path to the bus stop. Something told me I should have taken the subway home or better yet ran my errands like I had planned on doing, but I didn't listen to that little voice.

The bus opened it's door and to say it was full to capacity would be an under statement. The bus was so crowded that it couldn't close it's doors when I and another man got on. People were almost standing in front of the bus driver; which means they were in front of the "white line". The law states that the bus driver is not supposed to move if people are standing in front of the
"white line". In all honesty the bus driver should not have even stopped to pick us up because the bus was too full. I just wanted to get home and I guess the old, AA man beside me did to. Consequently we both decided to get on the bus,and bare the crowd by entering the bus through the back doors, because you could not enter through the front.

Once on the bus I saw how really crowded it was. Packed like sardines we were. I had to stand on the top step facing inward to the seats that were facing outward not forward. As people passed me to get off I had to mover further toward the seat in front of me. Here is where the problem aroused. There was a short, skinny, AA boy sitting in front of me. His ugly, skinny, AA mom was sitting beside him. The little boy could not have been any older than 6yrs. I had on a pair of black gauchos. Not sure if I spelled that right. For those who don't know gauchos are like cool locs, cool locs are big flowing shorts. The leg of the short flow like the leg of an elephant.

Anyhow my gaucho leg was touching the little boy. I don't know what he said to his mother, but she gave me a nasty look. I told her "I'm not trying to touch your son. I don't want to stand here no more than you want me here. As soon as a spot opens up I'll move". Mind you it wasn't my body touching him, but the material of my gaucho leg. Now everybody on the bus was touching if they were standing. There was no way around it. If you were standing by someone that was sitting they were going to get touched too unless they were sitting in an inside seat.

I don't know how the lady took what I said to her, but she flipped all the way out. She started yelling at me that I was crushing her sons leg. SMDH. I told her that I wasn't, but she got even louder. I started to back down, because I have always been the one to try and keep the peace. Something inside of me was like "NO,let her ass have it" and I did. I yelled at her like she was an ignorant imbecile that:"I was not crushing her sons leg. I would not ever do anything like that. I take care of children professionally for a living, so you need to stop saying I was crushing your son's leg. Look at me and look at him I'm so sure I would lean my body up against his". Her son then jumps up as if he want to hit me in defense of his mom. I guess I must of raised my voice even more because before I knew it he was balling. I loudly told the woman and the whole bus that I was not crushing her son. That my pant leg was touching him and if she thought she was going to be on this crowded bus where were all packed in here like sardine and we aren't going to touch then she is sadly mistaken and if she doesn't like it she should get off the bus and take a cab or drive her own car.

By this time the bus has come to a complete stop and everybody is watching and listening to us. Most of the people on the bus agree with me, and this is pissing the lady off. So she starts in again with telling the people I was crushing his leg. I reiterate that I watch children professionally and there is no way I would do such a thing so she needs to stop telling people that, but I will whoop her ass. The mother jumps at me like she wants to fight and the little boy tells his mother "NO Mommy". I tell her she aught to be a shame of herself for acting a fool in front of her son like that. I then tell her she is a horrible mother and I will pray for her.

She didn't say anything else to me for the rest of my ride on the bus. Other people on the bus kept asking me if I wanted to sit down. I politely told them no. I told them that "I didn't mind standing on a crowded bus. I know that when you take public transportation you take the risk of being packed next to each other. If you don't like it you take a cab or drive". Damn shame. I'm not even from NYC and know that much.

Friday, August 12, 2011

VIP NICE

Hope you all are doing well. I have been on pins and needles getting ready for my vacation a.k.a belated b-day gift to myself. That's right JAMAICA here I come or should I say we. I'm going with two girlfriends of mine and we are going to have a blast! Speaking of girlfriends...I went out to club 49 Grove and had an awesome time. My friend whom is going to Jamaica with me was actually supposed to go to this club with me. Ironically she stood me up that night. In return I truly had forgotten how fun it is to fly solo. Being the only child for 14 years, you learn how to maintain on your own.

The club was filling up, and all around me I was seeing guys going up to girls and trying to talk to them. If the girl wasn't feeling the guy she would tell him that her girlfriend was indeed her GIRLFRIEND. I was cracking up. My best friend and I used to pull that stunt all the time. When ever we didn't want to talk to or dance with a guy, and he just wouldn't take no for an answer. Now times have change. If you tell a man you have a girlfriend that just entices him more, and you still wont be able to get rid of him.

Anyhow I got invited into the VIP section and you know I went. From there on it was free top shelf liquor all night. I don't know how it happened because just about every woman that was in VIP look like a model. I know I've been blessed with natural beauty thanks to God and genes, but I have yet to be told I look like a model. These ladies were tall, pretty and skinnnnny. The kind of girls you see doing the cover girl commercials. All of the ladies were from different countries. One lady told me she was from France and would be moving back soon. Another lady informed me that she was here on a visa from Africa. I've always wanted to go to both places. I found it interesting talking with these ladies and the things that they shared with me. They all wanted to know what country I was from. LOL.. I said "USA". I just continued being myself and these modelistic girls told the head of the VIP that they just loved me. In return the VIP(who's name will remain anonymous for now)gave me his card and told me to let him know when I want to go out and I will get the VIP treatment.

After leaving the club you all know I had to do my ritual of a late night/early morning cheesy pizza routine. I found a place not even a block away from the club. I got two slices of pizza that had three toppings on it. I gave the short, cute Hispanic guy a $20 bill and he gave me back $11. I think that was a little pricey, but with all the free drinks I got that night it balanced out. As I waited for my slices I looked around the restaurant. I had never seen so many drunk people in one restaurant at one time. A lot of loud talking and laughing.

I ended up sharing a table with a Caucasian lady who was feeling me in about her evening at a gay club around the block. The lady told me she wasn't gay, but that she had gone to the club with her gay male friend. Her friend a tall, some what pudgy Caucasian man told me how the gay clubs play all the best music. The lady told me she didn't have to worry about men hitting on her, and that was the best part for her. They both had me cracking up. The conversation ended with them both telling me how beautiful I was. They both were overly drunk. I'm sure they thought everyone in there was beautiful including the pizza.

Stayed tuned.... I know you guys will want to hear all about Jamaica part 2!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Did I skip a month?

Sylvia's Lounge is my spot for Karaoke. People sing anything from the oldies, to musicals, to commercials. There are plenty of good performances, but I think I love the bad ones the best. Other wise I might as well go see a professional concert.

It was a Thursday night and I thought I was dress to a Tee. I got off the subway and ran a cross the street to Sylvia's Lounge only to notice that my right foot wasn't feeling the same as my left foot. I had on a pair of light tan boots that zipped and laced up mid calf. They were really cute and I had only worn them about three times. Sadly as I ran across the streets the right heel broke. It didn't brake completely off though. I don't know if you'll understand this, but the heel broke forward. It was bent toward the shoe instead of away from it. I had to run on my tip toes to keep from falling backwards. LMAO now, but I wasn't laughing then. I wanted to act like the Mentos commercial and just brake the other heel, but that wasn't happening. Thank God Marshall's was literally across the street. After trying on a few pairs of shoes, I purchased a pair of slamming, black, 4inch, soft leather Guess brand heels, and kept it moving.

All in all I had a good night. Although my train ride would be a little uncomfortable. As I was stepping into a crowded subway car the man who was in front of me has on a backpack. The elastic draw sting/bungee cord caught on to a button on my shirt. He was actually pulling me into the subway car with him, but he didn't know it. Can we say Titty on a Back Attack! Once we were both in the car, I asked him not to move any further. I was smack on back of him. I don't know how he didn't feel me. His friends were looking at us as if to say "what does this chick want with him?" I took the elastic from around my button and let go of the draw string. It popped him in his book-bag. He and his guys were looking with their eyes big. One of them hollered "Damn, man you had her like that?"

Of course this gave the man ample reason to talk to me, but it wasn't going down. He and his friends were very scruffy looking. Did I mentioned he smelled and not in a good way; more like in a funky ass and dirt way. I got a good whiff when he hooked me into him. He kept using the F bomb as he talked with his peers and that was so disappointing. I mean here was an African American man who looked to be in his late 40's and he couldn't think of any other words to describe what he wanted to say. To bad and so sad.

On a positive note I got home safely!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

How Have You Guys Been?

LAWD, LAWD, LAWD! My computer has been acting all the way crazy. I have missed you guys and hope this post finds you in the best of moods. With that said, I'm going to get right down to it.

Have you ever done something, and while your doing it you realize that you have truly F##KED UP! You try to change the outcome of it, but it goes by way to fast and you end up with a disaster? Well that is exactly how I felt at my last audition. I thought I had audition for a play with music, but at the callback audition I found out that I had audition for a musical. There is a BIG difference. For example: Tyler Perry theatrical presentations are plays with music. Lion King is a Musical; which is why I am a Actor/Singer not an Singer/Actor. When I was called into the room to sing, something told me to sing the song that I had sung at the 1st audition. Why I didn't listen to that little voice is beyond me.

Now I had not gotten a lot of rest the night before my call back, but I had practiced my monologues and songs through out the week. I'm not sure if it was nerves or what, but 70% of the time my songs don't come out the way I practiced them; however my monologues do. That could be a good thing or a bad thing. Note to self: I have to find a better voice teacher. My last voice lesson was disrupted by a fight amongst two males, but that is entirely another story.

I don't know what happen to me. I started to sing and I couldn't move up an octave. I stayed in low register the whole time. SMDH!! To say it was a Hot Mess would be sugar coating it. Those of you who know me know that I have an alto to tenor range. That's why I gravitate to artist such as Jill Scott, Erykah Badu, Lauryn Hill and the like. Anything bluesy or jazzed up and even old school gospel is right up my alley. I felt a knot rise in my throat and would not allow me to sing above a certain key. I had used this song in an audition before and this was my second time doing so, but I can tell you now there will not be a third!

After singing by myself. I was put into a group and we had to sing together. They had me singing soprano knowing I was a true alto. I almost passed out. I can laugh at it now, but I was not happy then. Dancing, learning choreography, dancing, sweating, singing, waiting, waiting, singing. Did I mention waiting? AUUGG, that call back lasted 7hours! What in the hell did I get myself into?

On a positive note I got to get a nice look at my cultural competition. I'm sure I will be seeing some of them again. I am also 100% sure it wont be in this production. I assume I don't have to tell I didn't get the gig.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Did You Miss Me?

It has been a while. A whole month has gone by and you haven't heard a peep from me. Soo many things have been happening, or should I say life has been really showing out. I hope this blog post finds you all in good spirits, and if not maybe it can help in lifting them.

I'm sure I have mentioned it before, but it think I have to reiterate. If you decide to work or live in the city of NYC; you relinquish all if any personal space. Rather we are young or old our animal instincts are always with us. The subway doors open. People pile out and others rush in, or race in to get a seat if there are any left. It's almost like a game, and it's funny to watch. A lady squeezed herself right down next to me and another fellow. As she inhaled and exhaled I literally felt her ribcage contract and expand. NO LIE! I could feel every breath she took because here side was touching my side. I don't think I have ever felt anyone that close to me before; not even while hugging someone. I sat there thinking to myself this is so weird. The tan, skin, woman who probably wasn't older than 45yrs looked at me. She had an expression on her face. It seemed to be saying"I know you can feel me breathing. Thanks for not tripping that I'm sitting so close."

The bus is a little better, but it takes longer to get to your destination. I can deal with the to close for comfort concept. What I hate is the rude and disrespectful behavior. If you add both of those together it makes public transportation a hassle. I was sitting on the inside seat when a African American lady whom seemed to be a few years younger than me sat her fat self down next to me. No problem there, but when it was time for me to get up for my stop she act like she didn't want to move. I said excuse me two times and she didn't budge. Finally I stood up and started moving towards her and she got up. What in the hell was her problem? I actually wanted to yell at her. Not sure what helped me to hold my tongue but I didn't make a scene. Unlike the man on the train at 12:40AM. He claimed he was a war vet who had AIDS. He asked for money or cigarettes. I don't know if he was telling the truth or not, but no one gave him a dime. The train comes to a stop and we all jump off. Rushing off to our own destination. Never the less none of us could ignore the Caucasian man who rushed off the train. He cursed and then loudly released a sigh of relief as he unzipped himself and pissed right there in front of us all! As I passed the conductor he just laughed and shook his head as he saw the expression on my face. The word Gross here would be a huge understatement!

I am glad to report that not all New Yorkers are rude; although there are at least 50% whom are. I think some of the rudeness is because you are always rushing around. Even when your not rushing, your rushing. Just in case you've missed it in other entries, I'll say it again. NYC is lunatic capitol. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't see or hear something abnormal. The word normal along with customer service, and home training seems to be at a lost in NYC. People here rarely use the word "Thank You, Excuse Me, or I'm Sorry" At CVS pharmacy. I politely asked the pharmacist for some assistance. She practically cussed me out. With a nasty voice she said to me she wasn't going to stop what she was doing just to help me. Oddly she wasn't really doing anything. Applaud for how the African American woman spoke to me as if it wasn't' her job to assist people. I spoke to another pharmacist who was glad to help me. Sadly you get the same experience trying to make or cancel appointments, shopping, etc. Ironically people here that have customer service jobs; consequently act like you bothering them when you say or do something that makes them have to do their job.

It can be a mean world out there, but it's nice to still get the pleasantness of the word THANK YOU.